God invented sex. It's great for making babies. The world is overpopulated today because a lot of people are doing it. Animals, in the water and on land, are doing it. Let's face it! It's great recreational fun and a wonderful pass time for husbands and wives all over the world. It's better than baseball, fishing and hunting! It relieves stress and tension. That makes it great for our health, too. So why is sex one of the top reasons for divorce?
Here are the problems with sex in the marriage:
Too Little Sex
Too Much Sex
Sex With The Wrong Person (Adultery)
For the most part, it's a quantity issue. It seems that some people in a marriage think of sex as a bad thing and don't want it at all or very little. Some think that sex is entirely what the marriage is all about and want it 24/7. If they can't get it, they'll find it elsewhere. They're all wrong. Marriage is about love and sex is the spiritual topping on the marriage cake. It adds the flavor of sweetness and makes it worth taking a bite into.
Here's a some poetic words from the Bible about sex and marriage:
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. - Proverbs 5: 15-19
Even according to the Bible, sex and marriage go great together. The waters and river flowing in the streets, as mentioned in these verses, is the outward appearance to the world of how awesome the marriage relationship is. It then becomes a reflection of God and His perfectness.
Here's the deal. We are all born with natural sexual desires. We were all born with them. You, me, them... everybody! The problems happen when these desires get out of control.
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your. - 1 Corinthians 7: 1-5
The word 'benevolence' means 'gift'. The word 'incontinency' means 'failure to restrain sexual appetite'. Sex in the marriage becomes a weapon to fight against losing control of our natural sexual desires. As a married couple, we should give our spouse the sexual ammunition to fight against it. If we neglect them in the bedroom, we're basically putting them out on the battlefield without a weapon. They could become a victim of temptation that could eventually destroy them and their marriage.
Since we all know now that we have natural sexual desires, we may not want to add anything to our life that will make these desires too overwhelming. Things such as pornography and X-rated movies would be unhealthy for the relationship. This could be the reason why wanting 'too much sex' in the relationship becomes an issue. The person craves sex only because of what they've allowed themselves to see. Their spouse then becomes used as a tool for relief. And nobody wants to be used.
For the person in the relationship that doesn't want sex or only wants it on rare occasions, there may be some mental or emotional issues going on. Maybe this person was a victim of a sexual sin that was committed on them as a child. They may see sex as the last thing they need in their life. The very act of natural sex with their spouse may bring back memories of a bad past. This will take sympathy, patience and understanding from their partner. They will have to talk about this problem together. And with the Lord's help, they can overcome it.
Sex in a marriage is a gift from God and was intended to be a good thing. It should strengthen the marriage and help the relationship grow. If both people could learn more about each other, become more understanding of each others needs and give of themselves, sex in the marriage would never be a problem. Divorce would never be an option.
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